Why The Hell Do You Care What People Look Like?

Published May 24, 2013 by asickandtwistedperspective

As women we know the impossible standards society puts on us. To stay young, be beautiful, be thin, be whatever everyone else wants us to be.  What about what WE want to be?  What about what makes US happy?

I was watching a video on YouTube recently about that guy from A&F saying he was only going to carry women’s sizes up to a size 10.  The video was saying the man was wrong obviously, but it was the comments on the video that really bugged me.  Calling people who are overweight “salad dodgers” and lazy slugs.  Conversely there are people who whine about thin women needing a cookie, or a burger.

Honestly why the hell do you care what someone else looks like? Unless you are sleeping with them, or they are your kid, it’s really none of your business how someone chooses to live their life.  If someone wants to spend their days sitting on the couch eating cans of frosting and watching Dr. Phil then how does that have anything to do with you? If a woman chews her food and then spits it out so she can stay thin enough to shop at her favorite stores than again how does that affect your life?

Now if any of you are about to comment about the cost of healthcare in the country, and how much obese people cost YOU, let me just  stop you right there.  Let’s talk some stats

  • $44.7 billion, for inpatient services.
  • $45.2 billion, for non-inpatient services.
  • $69.3 billion, for pharmaceutical services.
  • $146.6 billion, across all services.

Staggering isn’t it?  However, when I tried to look up the cost of Anorexia nervosa to the American people there is no such information available.  I did see something about the average cost of treating someone with Anorexia Nervosa is upwards of around 30,000 dollars, and most E.R visits are heart or bone related.

I am considered overweight, though my only health problem is asthma which I’ve had since I was 14, and was at a healthy weight.  I am perplexed by our societies obsession with what other people look like.  What makes you think you have the right to judge someone else on their pant size? I would never walk up to someone who was thin and tell them they are unhealthy and need to eat more. Would you?

My point here is, everyone has their issues. We live in a society that is obsessed with food, and how much food we eat, what we eat, what’s in it, how does it taste.  You know because it has to taste gourmet, and has to look pretty but it has to be organically grown, and whole wheat blah blah blah.  We constantly compare ourselves with others, are we thinner, fatter, prettier, younger?  My question is, what the fuck does it matter?!?!? 

Why do you care what I look like? Why is it ok to judge people you’ve never even met because you think they are too thin or too fat, or because you don’t like the way they dress or do their make-up? More importantly why do you concern yourself with how others look?  They don’t affect your life, just because you need an ego boost you think it’s your right to shame people for looking contrary to what our society has deemed beautiful? 

 Well I wasn’t consulted when what is considered beautiful was voted on.  I refuse to conform or judge others because they don’t meet societal standards. I find this is especially prevalent in groups of women. Women just LOVE to judge other women for their looks, when really it should be women who are making other women feel good about themselves.  It’s other women who should be supporting those who others tear down.  But no it’s always women who are the cruelest to other women, because women have very fragile egos, and they feel better when they mock other women they feel are beneath them. 

Well this goes out to all of you who think you’re better than others because you think you’re prettier or thinner, or have better clothes, or make-up. FUCK YOU YOU”RE nothing. You are a person just like everyone else, and you must have a really low self-image if you need to talk shit about others who have more confidence than you do.  Say whatever you want about me, it makes no difference, I think I am a beautiful person, I KNOW that I am.  I may wear a size 18 and I may have big tits, but I love my body.  I like looking at my dinner and not feeling guilty.  I love salads, and fruit, and vegetables, I eat a well rounded meal with CARBS (gasp) I just happen not to lose weight as easily as you. I also think YOU are beautiful.  I think thin women who eat as much as they can but can’t gain weight are beautiful, I think ALL women are beautiful.  Hairy, bald, thin, fat, tall, short, make-up, no make-up, strong, weak, young, and old.  We are all beautiful, and we should all know that. 

We should all learn to see that beauty rather than focus on what we see as flaws. Because flaws are subjective, they are a matter of opinion, not based on fact. Shaming someone for how they look, or how many men they’ve slept with, or if they were raped is like a disease, and should be cut off like an infected limb.





Chocolate Thumbprint Cookies

Published May 6, 2013 by asickandtwistedperspective

These I find are popular at Christmas, or Hanukkah.  They are fairly easy to make, though they are time consuming.  Allow for time to refrigerate the dough for a few hours at the very least. And you will probably have to periodically put the dough back in the fridge while making the cookies. They are worth it though, and they are pretty impressive looking for very little labor.

You Will Need:

  1. 3 eggs beaten
  2. 1 1/2 cups white sugar
  3. 4 oz unsweetned chocolate melted
  4. 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  5. 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  6. 2 cups all purpose flour
  7. 2 teaspoons baking powder
  8. 48 chocolate kisses (you can use dark kisses for a little less sweetness)
  9. 1/4 cup confectioners sugar

Now for the procedure:

  1. In a medium bowl combine the melted chocolate, sugar, eggs, oil, and vanilla. Mix well. Stir in the flour and baking powder. Cover and chill for at least two hours.
  2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees, then unwrap the candy
  3. Roll cookie dough into walnut sized balls and roll each ball in the confectioners sugar.  Place cookies 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake 8-10 minutes until the cookies are crackled on top. While still hot press kiss into center of the cookie point side down. NOW GO EAT UP

**I tried to insert some pictures but I have either lost all ability to work a computer, or the site has stopped allowing it?  The first one is probably more likely. But hey if any of you make these cookies, please send me some pictures! 

Why Being Attracted to the Same Sex Is Perfectly Natural

Published March 27, 2013 by asickandtwistedperspective

I know people are always going on about how G-d said homosexuality is wrong because it appears so in the Bible, and the 10 commandments.  However ,many people misinterpretor just plain misuse the exactly 9 mentions of homosexuality in the Bible, old and new testament.

In the book Leviticus, in the old  testament. it states that you should “not lay with mankind as with women kind. That is detestable.” Now as with so many verses in the bible this is open to interpretation; it could just mean “listen man, you are going to be having a WHOOOLLEEE different kind of sex with Dan than you are having with Beth.”  Or some scholars have come to believe it means that it’s speaking of abusive sex.  Whatever the meaning it does NOT say hook up with your best bro and you’re going to hell.

In Leviticus 20:13 it says “‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”  Now because those of us brought up in the Jewish or Christian religions were taught to believe homosexuality is a sin we automatically read this to mean homosexuality is a sin.  However if you really read it it does not say that, it could be part of the  Holiness Code, or again it could just be speaking to the type of sex people are having. 

The story of Sodom and Gomorrah is more interesting in my opinion, and I’ve always enjoyed it. Traditionally this story had been widely and misleadingly taught as being about a town full of depraved sex addicts who wanted to rape the angles who delivered Lot. HOWEVER if any of these people who are always quoting scripture bothered to read the bible they would know what it ACTUALLY says. Ezekiel specifies that the city was destroyed because of its arrogance, apathy towards the poor, and committing “abomination.” The word used in Leviticus 18 and 20 in reference to homosexual acts, as well as in other parts of the Bible to refer to various forms of idolatry and other undesirable actions. The Talmud also interprets the towns sin as a lack of charity NOT homosexuality. 

There is also in the bible, the stories of  David and Jonathan in the Books of Samuel which is the story of two men who were “beloved in life, and in death were not parted.”  In fact upon Johnathan’s death David says; “Your love to me was more wonderful Than the love of women.” But of course Christians and Jews seem to overlook this as a story of romantic  love.

Now if you are not a believer ( I believe in G-d not the Bible stories) there is the evidence of the 1,500 different species of animals that have occurrences of homosexual and/or bisexual relationships from mammals to worms. Homosexual in this context refers to mating games, actual intercourse, and genital stimulation.

As we humans are just evolved animals obviously certain individuals tendencies to be attracted to the same sex is not unnatural but in reality pretty common. So common in fact that it should be boring by this point, because really who the hell cares who is sleeping with whom as long as you aren’t sleeping with someone with a partner. In that case I’ll bet a few people will be interested in who you’re sleeping with.

In conclusion my fellow LGBTQA people we are as natural as anyone else who chooses to be with someone of the opposite sex. We are important to society, we are a strong, beautiful community of weirdos, artists, professionals, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, children, brothers, sisters, and most importantly PEOPLE. So next time some narrow minded hateful douche spouts bible verses at you, or tells you you are unnatural know that WE occur everywhere, in almost every species and if these people believe that G-d created everything than obviously G-d created ALL of us.


Mixed Feelings?

Published March 1, 2013 by asickandtwistedperspective

Before this afternoon I hadn’t spoken to my father in a few months. I suspect it’s because I’ve stopped bothering to hide my sexual orientation from anyone on twitter and facebook.  I mean yes it’s my fault I’ve hidden it from him for this long, but in my defence he’s a very religious Jewish man.  He would tell me it’s a phase or quote scripture at me.  The one time I did try to tell him, he started yelling about Rachel Maddow and G-d expelling sodomites (all this in the middle of a kosher Chinese food restaurant) ….it just didn’t seem to be the right time

So yes I chickened out, I admit it.  However he has made an extraordinary effort to avoid speaking to me on the phone, except he calls me when he knows I can’t answer, and I of course do the same thing, so we’ve been playing phone tag for months. 

Whatever, I would allow him time, and to be honest I’m OK with not talking to him, seeing as how he just got remarried and I seem to regress to a child with anger problems at the mention of his new wife.  However yesterday he TEXTED me to tell me my grandmother was dead.

Now before you afford me more sympathy than I deserve I have to admit I didn’t know the woman well, in fact I have only seen her once since I was 6.  She was not a pleasant woman, in fact I despised her. However I feel I should have been told this over the phone not in a frackin text!

But this is not really the point of this post.  The point is that now I don’t know how to feel about, Elka’s (my dead grandmother) death.  I obviously don’t miss her, but when I read the text I cried a little. Maybe the loss of possibility, maybe I felt sad for my father?  I am not really sure how to sift through the jumble going on right now.

I once heard a story about a man who loved his mother and hated his father.  His father was an abusive alcoholic and his mother was his protector.  When his mother died he coudn’t cry, not one tear, but when his father died he balled like a baby.  Not because he loved him, but because there was a loss of the person he hated most, and he didn’t know how to replace that feeling.  Maybe my feelings about Elka are similar.  I did blame her for many things, I held a lot of anger for her, maybe what I’m really upset about is that I will never get the chance to tell her that I thought she was to blame for so many things in my life?

In the end it doesn’t really matter though.  The fact is that she’s dead eliminates all possibility of telling her I hated her and blamed her for things that happened, or the possibility of altering our relationship.  Now all I am left with is the memory of the mean scary woman I remember from when I was 6, and the old frail woman I met 21 years later who’s last words to me were “I am only here because your father wanted me to see you.”

Why God-Des and She’s new video, G-d I Know You Love Me speaks to me

Published February 1, 2013 by asickandtwistedperspective

I admit to being a little biased here, as I am an avid God-Des and She fan (The female hip hop/soul duo), however I have to say this new song, “God I Know You Love Me” is one of their best.  It speaks to me particularly because I consider myself a religious person and have found it difficult in the past to reconcile my religion and my sexuality. 

I was raised a semi-religious Jew going to Yeshiva for many years before public school. To this day my father is an extremely religious man known as Lubavitcher.  I struggled for a long time, not understanding why if G-d made people and G-d made me, why was I this way? I was angry and resentful, and I felt betrayed by a G-d I thought was supposed to love me.  Then one day I realized; G-d and faith (no matter what faith you are) is about love, and PEOPLE make it hateful, not G-d. 

Suddenly I felt at peace, I accepted who I am, and who I love and my faith has never been stronger. I love my Jewish faith and it’s long history of survival, I find it fitting that the Jewish people are fighters, and survivers. I find peace in a G-d that loves and wants people to be good, and happy people, not because they are threatened with hell, but because they just ARE good people who are loved, and who love.

Which is why, I loved this video so much.  Granted I believe it’s centered more around the Christian faith, maybe Catholic?? I am not sure if the other sects have nuns…?  I feel it can speak to anyone who has struggled with their faith and their sexuality. 

The video is full of great symbolism, there is a person of color playing G-d, the red lighting in the church which is counter intuitive, the hateful preacher….Look for She as the nun, and God-Des as one of the parishioners also. 



on iTunes:  http://tinyurl.com/USGNSitunes

friend them on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/therealgoddesandshe?fref=ts

Ally or Enemy?

Published October 16, 2012 by asickandtwistedperspective

Every LGBTQ person has had their own experience with coming to terms with their own sexuality.  For some of us, coming out was a non-issue, and for others it was a life altering experience.  With all that said, the one thing we all have in common is that we all went through the process, and now accept our sexuality as part of who we are.  

According to Timothy Kurek who lived for a year as a gay man, working in a “gay cafe” and hanging out at a gay bar he did it because as a Christian he was anti-gay until a friend of his admitted to him she was gay.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/13/timothy-kurek-straight-christian-pretends-gay_n_1963657.html

OK so I know some of you will say what he did could be seen as admirable, but I just don’t see it that way.  I think what he did was deceitful, and a huge insult to his gay friends.  To make light of something that is so apart of who we are, something we are fighting so hard to gain equality for can only be an insult. 

Even worse than going “undercover” in the gay community, is that he recruited his gay friend to pose as his boyfriend to keep men from hitting on him.  Poor baby couldn’t just say no thank you? Or how about sorry, I’m just not interested?  This friend of his who posed as his boyfriend should be ashamed of himself for helping this affront to his community.  A community that he does not have the luxury of walking away from when he decides his experiment is over.

So now that he “came out” as straight on NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY to his family, he gets to walk away and go back to the life he had previously.  So maybe he doesn’t want the friends who dropped him after he told them he was gay, so what?  The point is now his mother who wrote in her diary “I would rather a doctor tell me I have terminal cancer than have a gay son” gets to breath a sigh of relief that all her “prayers” were answered.   He can continue on like nothing happened, go back to having a relationship with his mother as if nothing ever happened. 

Maybe Mr. Kurek did what he did because he wanted to understand his gay friends better, but maybe not.  Either way now he gets to profit off exploiting the LGBTQ community.  He gets to talk about his harrowing experiences, and be seen as a hero because he was willing to do such a thing.  My question here is this, why did he have to go “undercover” in the community?  Why pretend to be gay, why not just be an ally, and activist if he really wanted to help his friends or understand them more?


Published September 28, 2012 by asickandtwistedperspective


So up until recently my DGF lived pretty far away from me.  To catch you up, she moved away for a job, we stayed together and made it work.  However the planets aligned in such a way that she was able to move back here.  Not just to the area but into my apartment. 

This is the start of an exciting new adventure, and I look forward to discovering it, I am just UNBELIEVABLY nervous that I will find some way to screw it up.  I have never lived with anyone before (I know I know GASP a lesbian who has never lived with anyone before)  so I have never had to share my personal space or be accountable to anyone else on a daily basis.  Not that I am whining about this, I would not have it any other way, just a little nervous is all. 

Now that the DGF and I have moved all her stuff in, and we have boxes eeevvverrryyywwwhhhereeeee I have to say I thought the whole process would be a lot more difficult.  I thought I would be freaking out a little more having to move my stuff around in order to fit her things in along side mine, but it has been pretty easy.  I thought we would have fought while JUST THE TWO OF US moved her things out of her apartment and into mine, but we didn’t.  I though the boxes everywhere would make me nervous and crazy, but I am pretty relaxed. 

I have to say I am pretty excited at the prospect of seeing her gorgeous face on a daily basis, and being able to go explore this beautiful city together will be a great pleasure.  All these things make me happy, but I have to say the best thing so far was making dinner together.  Just hanging out in the kitchen we laughed and talked, and it was comfortable and domestic and it felt all warm and fuzzy.  In short all the events thus far have made me very happy, aside from the slight moments of panic that I am somehow going to fuck things up.

I shall report back from my grand adventure periodically to let all those following behind me know what lies ahead of them.