All posts for the month May, 2012

The Guest Blog That Never Was

Published May 10, 2012 by asickandtwistedperspective

A blogger I follow asked her followers to write some guest blogs recently.  I was very excited about it, because I love her, and as anyone who has ever met me, or read anything I’ve written knows, I like to talk.  I wrote about how difficult it is to be “femme” in the gay community.  I spoke to some of my friends to get their perspective as well, I sent a copy to my DGF (dear girlfriend) to get some proof reading, I was very excited by the whole process, but alas it was not to be.  She was very kind about it, but she wanted tweaks to it I was not happy about making so I politely declined. However I still think it was good so I want to put it out there.  Here you go:

When I first got up the courage to come out as a gay woman, it was a proud and scary time in my life.  I lost some friends, but I was confident that being part of the LGBTQ community would afford me the opportunity to meet new people.  I was certain that we would have many things to bond over, and my new friends would understand my story, but as is so often the case things are never like you imagine them.

I am what is known as “femme”, and as I discovered the lesbian community is very segregated.  In all the community events I was a part of and of all the groups I joined, I felt like I HAD to hang out with other femmes.  Many of the butch women, or even the women who were neither femme nor butch looked down on, and judged me.

In bars and clubs I was constantly asked if I was bi, or just curious.  I was met with a lot of accusations of not really being gay because of the way I dress, because I wear make-up, and do my hair.  It was bad enough I was being judged by my family and my straight friends, but now I was being judged by the very people I was sure would have understood and accepted me.

Meeting women was especially difficult for me.  I was either just assumed straight, accused of being bi, or I was not “gay looking” enough (yes that is actually what someone said to me).  I did find it easier to meet women online, (though I would advise anyone who does this to be very careful, and to take precautions) which turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

I had spent years pretending to be something I wasn’t before I came out, and I decided that I wasn’t going to go back to that. I was going to be who I was and I refused to care what other people thought about me.  Since I could not fit in anywhere, I made a group that fit me, and now I have a great diverse group of friends who are gay, straight, butch, femme, trans, and asexual.

Of course everyone’s experiences are different.  I asked some of the femmes I know about their experiences, and they varied.  Some had nothing negative to say about their encounters, and others were much worse than mine. One friend actually chooses not to be part of the gay community at all beyond her partner, and therefore has had no experience good or bad.

My favorite thing said on the subject in all my questioning was:

“To accommodate anyone’s need to not be rejected. If I cut my hair shorter, wore “lesbian” clothing, and my whole identity was just  being a lesbian, then it would be a false depiction of my SELF.”

It is my favorite because I think it affirms that before any of us belong to this group, or that group, we have to be ourselves first. So let people judge me if they like, whether it’s out of fear of rejection or stupidity it’s going to happen, and there is nothing I can do about it.  I am happy with myself, and I hope my friends who have experinced the same thing are happy with themselves too.


Remaking Little Shop of Horrors….AGAIN!!

Published May 4, 2012 by asickandtwistedperspective

You grow up loving certain movies, especially us children of the 80’s.  The age of the terrible, campy, bad effects movies.  Sadly the age we live in, has become all about the huge CGI effects, the stories aren’t important anymore, and more to the point….there are very few original stories being put out anymore.  Movie studios want a solid fan base, it’s less of a risk that way.  They remake movies so they have a built-in fans, before the movie even opens.


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Joseph Gordon-Levitt has expressed a desire to remake Little Shop of Horrors!!!  I’m sorry, Joseph but no one can replace the brilliance of Rick Moranis as Seymore….or Ellen Greene as Audrey, Steve Martin as Orin the crazy dentist, or Bill Murray the masochistic patient!!!  None of this chemistry can be recreated, and why would anyone want to?!?!

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a fan of remakes in general.  In fact I hate them, with a fiery passion.  In this case, as in a few others I think it’s a tragedy for an already suffering film industry.  Rumor has it that Zooey Deschanel will be his costar.  ARE YOU FRACKING KIDDING ME?!?!?  It’s bad enough the untalented twit thinks she can sing, and actually has a band, but now she’s going to be taking the role that Ellen Greene blew out of the water?!?!?!?!  Her flimsy little voice can never even come close to the awesomeness that is Ellen Greene. 

Now I know what you’re going to say….technically the 1986 version was a remake, BUT it’s kind of like the musical remake of Mame…they are separate entities.  The original version based on “Green Thoughts” by John Collier came out in 1960, and had a young Jack Nicholson in it.  It was not a musical, and used the original intended ending, as did the 1982 musical, in which the whole cast dies, and Audrey II has babies. The ending in the 1986 movie version changed the ending to a happy one after negative audience response. 

Is it too much to ask that we get some ORIGINAL material in movies?!?!?  Oh no, we don’t want the writers the movie studios employ to strain their brains too much!!  The atrocious version of Footloose that came out recently is proof, as is the recent remake of Dark Shadows.  What is wrong with the original versions of these??