Ally or Enemy?

Published October 16, 2012 by asickandtwistedperspective

Every LGBTQ person has had their own experience with coming to terms with their own sexuality.  For some of us, coming out was a non-issue, and for others it was a life altering experience.  With all that said, the one thing we all have in common is that we all went through the process, and now accept our sexuality as part of who we are.  

According to Timothy Kurek who lived for a year as a gay man, working in a “gay cafe” and hanging out at a gay bar he did it because as a Christian he was anti-gay until a friend of his admitted to him she was gay.

OK so I know some of you will say what he did could be seen as admirable, but I just don’t see it that way.  I think what he did was deceitful, and a huge insult to his gay friends.  To make light of something that is so apart of who we are, something we are fighting so hard to gain equality for can only be an insult. 

Even worse than going “undercover” in the gay community, is that he recruited his gay friend to pose as his boyfriend to keep men from hitting on him.  Poor baby couldn’t just say no thank you? Or how about sorry, I’m just not interested?  This friend of his who posed as his boyfriend should be ashamed of himself for helping this affront to his community.  A community that he does not have the luxury of walking away from when he decides his experiment is over.

So now that he “came out” as straight on NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY to his family, he gets to walk away and go back to the life he had previously.  So maybe he doesn’t want the friends who dropped him after he told them he was gay, so what?  The point is now his mother who wrote in her diary “I would rather a doctor tell me I have terminal cancer than have a gay son” gets to breath a sigh of relief that all her “prayers” were answered.   He can continue on like nothing happened, go back to having a relationship with his mother as if nothing ever happened. 

Maybe Mr. Kurek did what he did because he wanted to understand his gay friends better, but maybe not.  Either way now he gets to profit off exploiting the LGBTQ community.  He gets to talk about his harrowing experiences, and be seen as a hero because he was willing to do such a thing.  My question here is this, why did he have to go “undercover” in the community?  Why pretend to be gay, why not just be an ally, and activist if he really wanted to help his friends or understand them more?


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